No. 153Communication & ReflectionExplain what you want submission to feel like in practice rather than relying on labels alone.
Task No. 153 of 282
Write What Submission Means to You
Explain what you want submission to feel like in practice rather than relying on labels alone.
What it is
The sub explains what submission should look and feel like in actual life rather than relying on a label alone. They may describe desired authority, service, decision-making, discipline, sexuality, emotional tone, independence, and boundaries, using concrete examples wherever possible. The entry should also name what submission does not mean to them. It defines one person’s chosen experience, not a universal standard for how submissives should behave.
Why it is submissive
The exercise requires the sub to identify what kind of authority they genuinely want to offer and make that meaning available to the Dom. They expose both the appeal and the limits of their submission instead of relying on the Dom to interpret a broad identity word. The Dom receives clearer material for shaping a dynamic that fits the actual person.
Why people may like it
Many disagreements begin when two people use the same label but imagine very different lives. One person may associate submission with service and daily decisions, while another imagines scenes, sexual surrender, or emotional guidance. Writing concrete examples can expose those assumptions before they become disappointment. Subs may also discover that the feeling they want is more specific than “being controlled,” and Doms may gain a much clearer picture of what leadership would feel meaningful.
Ways to run it
- One-Page Definition
- The sub writes a concise explanation of the responsibilities, feelings, authority, and boundaries they associate with submission.
- Describe an Ideal Day
- The sub shows what submission means through a realistic day from waking through bedtime.
- Submission Is and Is Not
- Two lists define what the sub actively wants and which common assumptions do not fit them.
- Five Concrete Examples
- The sub gives five specific moments or behaviors that would make them feel meaningfully submissive.
- Revisit After Six Months
- The definition is reviewed later to identify which ideas became clearer, changed, or proved unrealistic.
How this task works
Write What Submission Means to You is a reflection from the communication, journaling & disclosure chart. It's long-distance friendly: messages, photos, or a call are all it takes, which makes it a favorite for online and distance dynamics. It's a nonsexual task: structure and submission, no sexual content required.
Beginner-friendly: a good early assignment in a new dynamic. Standard care applies: negotiate first, agree on limits, and check in afterward.
