Dom/sub Contract Template

D/s Agreement

Dominant

[Dominant's name]

Submissive

[submissive's name]

Dominant's title

Sir

Start date

[Date]

Initial term

6 months

Review

Monthly

This is a personal agreement between consenting adults. It records the structure of the dynamic they have chosen. Either person may withdraw consent or end the dynamic at any time.

The submissive gives the Dominant authority over the agreed parts of their life. The Dominant accepts that authority and the responsibility to exercise it well.

The Dominant gives the submissive something real to follow: clear orders, consistent standards, attention, correction, and care. The submissive gives the Dominant obedience, honesty, and effort. The Dominant directs sex and play between them, and sets rules and rituals that carry through ordinary days.

Within the areas covered by this agreement, the submissive treats the Dominant’s directions as duties rather than suggestions.

The Dominant agrees to:

1. Lead actively. Lead the dynamic actively. Do not expect obedience without giving direction.
2. Give clear orders. Orders must be clear to the submissive. Important standards must be understandable.
3. Keep standards consistent. Keep rules consistent enough for the submissive to learn and follow them.
4. Pay attention to the submissive. Pay attention to the submissive’s physical condition, emotional state, and ability to obey.
5. Correct fairly. Find out what happened before assigning a punishment. Do not treat confusion, illness, or an impossible task as deliberate disobedience.
6. Stay within the agreed authority. Direct only the parts of the submissive’s life this agreement covers. Do not extend authority into other areas without the submissive’s agreement.
7. Use discipline deliberately. Use discipline deliberately and within the limits of this agreement.
8. Recognize good submission. Recognize obedience, improvement, and difficult effort. Reward the submissive when appropriate.
9. Keep the Dominant’s commitments. Keep the Dominant’s own promises, appointments, rituals, and responsibilities.
10. Review and adjust the structure. Review the structure periodically and adjust it when it stops matching the relationship the partners need.

The submissive agrees to:

1. Obey within the agreement. Obey the Dominant’s instructions when they fall within the agreed authority.
2. Treat rules as duties. Treat the Dominant’s rules as continuing duties until the Dominant changes or removes them.
3. Learn the Dominant’s preferences. Actively work to learn the Dominant’s preferences. Apply them without requiring the same instruction each time.
4. Complete tasks carefully. Complete assigned tasks carefully and present finished work for inspection when appropriate.
5. Share desires and limits. Tell the Dominant honestly about desires, fantasies, and limits, so the Dominant knows what the submissive wants when leading sex and play.
6. Report failures honestly. Report failures, delays, and broken rules honestly.
7. Ask when unclear. If an order is unclear, ask about it. Do not assume or quietly replace it with a preferred interpretation.
8. Receive correction. Accept correction earnestly. Make a sincere effort to improve.
9. Protect privacy. Protect the Dominant’s private information and the privacy of the relationship.
10. Raise serious concerns plainly. Speak plainly when a limit, health issue, or serious concern needs attention.

The Dominant’s authority covers the submissive’s conduct, the rules and rituals of the relationship, and sex and play between them. Within those areas, the submissive obeys. The Dominant may:

• set rules
• assign individual tasks
• establish rituals and forms of address
• direct sex and play, including what happens in a scene
• decide when the submissive may orgasm
• grant and take away privileges
• require reports and check-ins
• correct the submissive and administer the punishments listed in this agreement

The submissive agrees to follow those decisions as part of the submission offered to the Dominant.

The Dominant’s authority is not limited to scenes or set times. It applies every day, for as long as this agreement lasts, within the areas this agreement covers.

Everything this agreement does not cover remains the submissive’s own, including their job, their medical care, their money, their friends and family, and their relationships outside the dynamic. The submissive can also always seek outside help. Neither silence nor obedience in one area gives the Dominant authority over another. The Dominant gains authority over any other area only if both of them agree to add it to this agreement.

Rules set what the submissive does as a matter of course. Rituals are repeated acts that mark the relationship, such as the way the submissive greets the Dominant after time apart. Both last until the Dominant changes or removes them. The following rules and rituals are part of the default dynamic:

1. Use the Dominant’s title. At home and in private, the submissive addresses the Dominant as Sir.
2. Acknowledge every order. The submissive answers a direct order with “Yes, Sir,” so the Dominant knows it was heard and understood.
3. Morning check-in. Each morning, the submissive greets the Dominant, says how they are feeling, and names their main responsibilities for the day. If they are apart, the submissive does this by message.
4. Evening report. Before bed, the submissive reports what was done, what was not, any rules that were broken, and anything that needs the Dominant’s attention.
5. Complete assigned tasks. Tasks are completed by the stated deadline. Obstacles are reported early rather than hidden until the task is already overdue.
6. Keep protocol discreet around others. In public, at work, and around family or friends who are not part of the dynamic, the submissive keeps protocol discreet. The title and visible rituals stay at home unless the Dominant says otherwise.
7. Greet the Dominant after time apart. When they meet after time apart, the submissive greets the Dominant in the way the Dominant has set, such as kneeling or a kiss.
8. Keep a journal. The submissive writes at least three sentences each day about the dynamic, and the Dominant reads it and responds once a week.
9. Present for weekly review. Once each week, the submissive attends a review prepared to discuss obedience, difficulties, progress, and anything that needs the Dominant’s attention.

The Dominant directs sex and play between them. The Dominant decides when and where they play, what they do together, and when the submissive may orgasm. The submissive’s body is the Dominant’s to use within the limits of this agreement. The following rules apply:

1. Be available for the Dominant’s use. When the Dominant wants sex, the submissive makes themselves available and responds willingly. If the submissive is unwell, they say so.
2. Ask for sex or a scene. The submissive may ask for sex or a scene, but the Dominant decides whether and when it happens. A request does not change who leads.
3. Ask permission before orgasm. The submissive asks the Dominant for permission before every orgasm, whether they are together or the submissive is alone.
4. Plan a scene every two weeks. The Dominant plans a scene at least once every two weeks. Anything they have not done before is talked through beforehand.
5. Use what the submissive has shared. The Dominant plans sex and play around the submissive’s desires as well as the Dominant’s own.
6. Prepare for a planned scene. Before a planned scene, the submissive showers, grooms as the Dominant prefers, and has ready anything the Dominant has asked for.

Both the Dominant and the submissive have limits. A hard limit is something that will not happen. A soft limit is approached only after discussion and with particular care. A new limit takes effect as soon as it is communicated.

Dominant’s hard limits

[Add limits]

Dominant’s soft limits

[Add limits]

Submissive’s hard limits

[Add limits]

Submissive’s soft limits

[Add limits]

Relevant health, access, or care information

[Add anything the other partner should know]

The safewords are:

Yellow: Slow down, pause, or check in before continuing.

Red: Stop immediately.

If speaking is difficult or impossible, dropping an object held in the hand is the nonverbal stop signal.

A clear statement such as “stop,” “I can’t continue,” or “I withdraw consent” also counts. Nobody has to remember the perfect word in order to stop.

Discipline keeps the structure of the relationship in place. Before punishing, the Dominant names what was broken and hears the submissive out. The Dominant never punishes in anger, and once a punishment is served, it is over. The Dominant chooses punishments the submissive does not enjoy, because a punishment the submissive enjoys does not correct anything. The following punishments are available:

1. Spanking. Receive a spanking with the Dominant’s hand, for the number of strokes the Dominant sets, counting each one aloud.
2. Corner time. Stand quietly in a designated place for 15 to 30 minutes.
3. Writing lines. Copy a correction phrase chosen by the Dominant between 50 and 200 times.
4. Loss of privilege. Give up an agreed leisure or D/s privilege for up to 72 hours.
5. Orgasm denial. Go without orgasm for a period the Dominant sets, up to seven days.
6. Forced orgasms. While restrained, the submissive is made to orgasm again and again, past the point of comfort, until the Dominant decides to stop.
7. Silence. Stay silent for an evening, speaking only to answer the Dominant or to use a safeword.
8. Extra task. Complete one additional task chosen by the Dominant.

Safewording, withdrawing consent, seeking medical care, raising a boundary, or ending the dynamic is never punished.

Rewards are how the Dominant recognizes good submission. When the submissive has obeyed well, improved, or made a real effort, the Dominant gives them something they enjoy and tells them what it is for. Available rewards include:

1. Praise. The Dominant tells the submissive exactly what they did well, in the words the submissive loves to hear, such as “good girl” or “good boy.”
2. Permission to orgasm. The Dominant allows the submissive an orgasm outside the usual rules, or sooner than planned.
3. An evening of pleasure. The Dominant spends an evening focused on the submissive’s pleasure, with oral sex, a favorite toy, or whatever the submissive most enjoys.
4. A favorite scene. The Dominant plans a scene around a kink the submissive especially enjoys, such as rope or impact play.
5. An hour of closeness. The Dominant sets aside an hour for cuddling and affection, with phones put away.
6. A date night. The submissive chooses a restaurant or outing for a date night together.
7. A day off from rules. For one day, the Dominant lifts some rules, such as the morning check-in or the journal.
8. A punishment forgiven. The Dominant cancels or shortens one punishment the submissive has earned.

After an intense scene or a punishment, the Dominant and submissive look after each other before returning to ordinary life.

The submissive’s aftercare. Right afterward, the submissive gets water, a snack, a blanket, care for any marks, and either closeness or quiet, whichever they prefer.

The Dominant’s aftercare. The Dominant’s needs matter too. Afterward, the Dominant may want quiet time alone, food, or the submissive close by, and says which.

Check in the next day. Within 24 hours of an intense scene or punishment, the Dominant and submissive talk about how it went, physically and emotionally.

The D/s relationship is private. Neither partner tells anyone about it, or about the other’s kinks, without the other’s permission. Photos, videos, and screenshots of intimate moments are taken only when both partners agree, and are never shared. Either partner may still talk privately to a doctor, therapist, lawyer, or trusted friend when they need help.

Reviewing the agreement. This agreement is reviewed monthly during its first 6 months. At each review, they discuss which rules are working, which have been neglected, what each person wants more or less of, and whether the scope of the Dominant’s authority still fits. They change what needs changing.

Making changes. Between reviews, the Dominant may change rules, tasks, and other details within the agreed authority at any time. New areas of authority are added only if both of them agree. The submissive may also request changes to this agreement at any time.

The end of the term. At the end of the 6 months, the Dominant and submissive renew the agreement, rewrite it, or let it end.

Either person may end the D/s dynamic at any time by clearly communicating that decision. They do not need permission, a reason the other person accepts, or a closing ritual.

When the agreement ends, the Dominant’s authority ends. Rules, rituals, and other obligations end. Unfinished punishments are cancelled, and no punishment is assigned for ending the relationship. Use of the Dominant’s title may stop immediately. Keys, gifts, and belongings are handled according to who actually owns them. Private information remains private.

A closing ritual may be used if both people want one. The agreement does not depend on a ritual in order to end.

Any romantic, sexual, or personal relationship that continues afterward is a separate decision.

This is a personal relationship agreement, not a legal contract. Made free at collared-app.com/bdsm-contracts.